To form new understandings, the basis of dialogue, rather than compromise on what we believe to be true or right, we need to start with trust. Trust, or Ihsan Al-Than, means we believe what others say to us without doubting their intentions. At a practical level, this means we will begin attributing the mistakes of others (in terms of what is said or done to us) to ignorance, poor communication, or other unintentional reasons, not to a purposeful intent to mislead or harm. By denying the existence of hidden agendas or ulterior motives, we will gradually begin to deal with others as individuals with specific needs and concerns and whose perspective on matters is as legitimate as our own. This form of Ihsan Al-Than, however, can be viewed as a type of naivety or simple mindedness. This view could be accepted were it not for two points.
The first point is the existence of It’qan. As stated previously, It’qan is driven by caution, and it is this caution that will allow us to practice Ihsan Al-Than while taking care not to harm the interests of the organization, or others who have entrusted us. This means that if we end up getting deceived, manipulated, or betrayed by others it is not because we trusted them, it is because we have not practiced enough It’qan. In other words, our disappointment with others, is not because they are “bad”. As such, it is because our work was not “good” enough to protect us. It was not good enough if we did not carry out the diligence needed. It would not be good enough if we did not remove any loopholes or gray areas that might tempt others to abuse the situation. Thus, in the final analysis, we should take responsibility for whatever happens to us, and not blame it on the “dishonesty” or “deceit” of others.
The second point is that the practice of mistrusting people or doubting their intentions is in fact a naïve or simple-minded approach because it deprives us of the vast opportunities, we can gain from interacting with others just because we feel they might harm or mislead us. For example, an individual who has had two or three bad experiences flying might conclude that all air flights are bad, and, consequently, stop flying. This individual might feel he is doing the smartest thing, but in fact he has let a few bad experiences deprive him of the vast benefits air travel can provide. Similarly, a person who has been “cheated” or “tricked” might conclude that all relationships are driven by ulterior motives and that no one is to be trusted. This individual will always be suspicious, and not be willing to listen to and benefit from others.
Thus, when we are able to exhibit Ihsan Al-Than balanced with It’qan we will become more open to the ideas, opinions, and needs of others and less likely to impose our interpretations on what they say. We will no longer be driven by suspicion, rather by the need to simultaneously trust and fulfill our responsibilities towards others. This is the first step towards creating dialogue between us.